Lots to do about nothing....

I got so cranky today, I can’t even stand myself. (Friday 13th 2019)
The wind is telling me something and I am not listening. It won’t stop blowing my brains out and I am about to take it personally. But it fits into my unsettled way of looking at things. I am so very confused about what is going on with the politics here and when I am cycling I got a gazillion words in my head which I want to write down, but then I sit down at the end of the day and nothing, or very little is coming out.
The wind is driving my mind in circles and I let it...

I wrote this a week or so ago:

Wa(o)ndering on stolen land....
December 9th 2019
I can’t go on like this...cycling on the surface of this country...yes, we meet the most friendly, generous and mostly open minded people, but the underlying current of tension is becoming more and more obvious, even if I try focusing only on the beauty of the land. 
25 years since Apartheid has officially ended!
The racial discrimination has been so obvious - not just in economics! First time since we arrived in CapeTown on the 22nd (and we stayed 4 weeks) of October I find myself truly in the wrong place. We were ALL basically born here:  Homo Sapiens - some of us migrated - changed color over thousand of years, came back white and took over ...as we all know...robbed the land by making ownerships of the country and the people.
Apartheid  - formalized in 1948 but discrimination against people of color happened long before that: 
Colonial racism (Wikipedia)
During the Colonial era, the Cape served as strategic base for the Colonial expansionist interests in the east. For this purpose settlements were established by the Dutch East India Company at the Cape of Good Hope in 1652, followed by Britain seizing the Cape Colony in 1806 during the Napoleonic wars, resulting in some areas being governed by the British and some by the Dutch.
The region attracted ivory and slave traders who imported slaves for wheat farming and viticulture to serve the European settlements. In response to Colonial subjugation, fleeing black natives and slaves, joined existing groups such as the Xhosa or formed groups that were headed by warlords such as those of Bloem, Kok and Barends families. By the late 18th century, Arabs and Europeans traded beads, brass, cloth, alcohol and firearms in return for slaves, ivory, gold, wax, cattle and skins. The profits from these trade practices encouraged the warlords to hunt elephants and slaves by raiding the local communities such as Rolong, Tlhaping, Huruthshe and Ngwaketse. During the Difaqane, the Zulu under Shaka overran many smaller tribes and enslaved them.
Although slavery was formally abolished in 1833 with the Slavery Abolition Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom, slaves were continued to be imported from Britain's established settlements in India and the East Indies. The practice of importing slaves from India stretches back to the 1600s when the Dutch bought slaves from various parts of India who were sold by the then Muslim rulers. By the early part of the 18th century, 80% of the slaves were South Asians who were not just from the Indian subcontinent but also those South Asians who were living in South-East Asian countries such as Java.
The Roman-Dutch law defined slaves as property that could be traded, bought and sold, a form of slavery known as 'chattel slavery'. There are many examples of racism and discriminatory practices during the Colonial period such as whipping, starvation, being forced to work for long hours, laborers having to carry passes, being subject to high taxation, not being able to walk on the sidewalks, banned from living, entering or working in certain areas such as the Orange Free State. Other examples include allocation of rations during the Siege of Ladysmith. 

Since Mandela’s election the government control is back to the people, though economically the power is still where the “white” money is - duh...sounds familiar, doesn’t it? It looks like it’s all cool, but, watching those mansions and huge farms...apartments ...or just “simply” fancy houses...the security, electric fences “armed response” warning signs ..businesses owned by white people.                                                        It’s obvious. The minority (Whites) are now feeling unsettled or finally out of place or even scared for their lives. The next generation is leaving. We are learning that the offspring of the people we meet around our ages is up and gone - mostly to Europe, but also Australia and New Zealand.
Some people are angry, some people are scared ...black, brown and whites...and who can blame them?...some want revenge....or at least take what they think is theirs! The mansions, farms, businesses and so on have been owned over many generations by the families of the Dutch and British - I have yet to find a black or colored business owner..... We learned that not just one group of righteous “original Africans”, but a few are breaking into businesses, taking what they feel is theirs, but also murdering the owners, their families and all the livestock on the farms. 
Apartheid in reverse? Is that the solution until things even out in maybe 100 years?
What will help this country? Should all the “guilty ones” just up and leave ....go home already? But after so many generations, where is their home? 
I feel wrong! After playing the tourist and enjoying the beauty, I am ready to hightail it out of South Africa! How white do I need to be to understand I am still cycling on stolen property and I can’t go back 164.000 years to argue that we all belonged here once....that just doesn’t fly.
I can’t ignore the tension any more.

Later that day on December 13th
Since then we have been cycling east in South Africa. Long days into the wind, but took a day off at a dairy farm where we got pampered senseless. We talked about everything and the positive outlook from this endearing family influenced me tremendously (we sat around the table, while eating chocolate ...pie?...not sure, but it’s called  Ganache Cake and lots and lots of excellent food). “Love goes through the stomach”....and I am feeling a bit better.

I’ve calmed down (see above) - I don’t have to understand it all or focus too much on the big picture. Focus on what Is right in front of me for now. I have connected with black and colored people and enjoyed their smiles, 

their songs and their stories. The farm is HUGE and I don’t know what the workers are getting payed and what the hierarchy exactly looks like. 

I enjoyed every animal (9 dogs, 7 cats between 3000 and 4000 dairy cows, 3 horses, 1 pony and I don’t know how many chickens)

https://gopro.com/v/B2eylWoGE5EbG

human, every age and color on this fine day on the farm and that is all I have to say for now. I am grateful for the people who have taken us in and showed us around took care of us and talked with us about everything!
We’ve been staying with families off and on since CapeTown. They all seem to have a strong sense of quality/family time, mostly at dinner, everybody gets together - even the teenagers! 

and talk with each other! Real talk! No need for requests to give the electronic devises a rest...If I am not mistaken, they all seem to enjoy the time together over good food and conversation. 

Sunday December 15th
In Port Elizabeth - stuck to wait for an appointment to get my iPhone repaired. Busy times...next available time Tuesday 4pm....won’t be able to leave until Wednesday or even Thursday. One problem seems to be that an iPhone manufactured in the USA might not have the same parts as the ones sold in South Africa - crossing my fingers! We are relying heavily on my phone for navigation -as it turns out - and our plan is to head inland on small, sweet maybe partly difficult dirt roads away from the holiday crazy traffic and the big highways leading to Jo’burg.
In the mean time, I am trying to make friends with the relentless wind and with the people who tell me different things about the weather. No matter what they say, there is a common denominator- this is normal...four seasons in one day! And it’s not that much different from what we know about CA, or Marin...except for the wind.
Ok, I am getting off this subject.

Getting back in the groove of feeling it....feeling the spirit of traveling. Funny how I need new room in my head. It gets packed full of worry about politics and logistics. This is a good place to clean/air out! Port Elizabeth - the town itself - isn’t really anything to “write home about” and the backpacker camping space we occupy is perfect for now! Lots of spaces to lounge around and keeping the iPad charged for movies at night.