“From the Death Café to the Golden Gate Bridge — we’re still pedaling on!”
I’m writing this update while on a flight to Austin, leaving James and Coby to hold down the fort in the Knolls. They’ll both join me in a few days so we can celebrate our granddaughter’s second birthday. Yeah!
But first, an update.
Not long after James’s birthday, we both fell into a bit of a mental and emotional hole. The visit to the Death Café in Tiburon wasn’t the cause—it was actually a lively gathering with a wonderful mix of people, young and old, sharing stories and useful insights. But alongside the connection, we noticed some sharper declines in James’s cognitive abilities and more stiffness in his body, especially mornings. Lewy was at its games again.
James has been steadily working on getting his affairs in order, which is sobering in itself. Combined with his symptoms, it left us with a dim outlook—too much of the future feeling too near. We reached out to a dear friend who is also a death doula, and while the time together was supportive and grounding, the days afterward were heavy with tears and sobs. That’s how we showed up at our doctor’s office in Point Reyes: sad, raw, and wide open.
Dr. Leah, who is both deeply professional and profoundly human, listened with care. She handed us handkerchiefs, acknowledged the progression of symptoms, and then leaned in toward James with a calm but powerful presence: “You are not dying. You are living. You are far from dying.”
That moment felt like a beam of life energy pouring into both of us. She released us back into the world lighter, steadier.
We rode our bikes home the long way—up the Marshall Wall from Tomales Bay.
Since then, the rides keep carrying us forward. Errands turn into adventures—like pedaling via Stafford Lake to the DMV and blood tests, swinging by Coby’s VW shop, and checking in with Josh, our trike magician, who improved the brakes and made things easier for James. Or last Saturday’s epic outing: biking to the Larkspur Ferry,
We are surrounded by so much: stunning landscapes, extraordinary doctors, loving friends and family, and all of you who cheer us on. With that, we continue to live—and to keep finding more life to live.
Thank you for walking, riding, reading, and loving alongside us.
Your continuing support on all levels keeps us going, let truth be told!
With much gratitude and love,
James and Margit
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