Can this really go on?

 Sometimes during riding my bicycle on easy roads, I am thinking about all the things I want to write in my blog journal. Waking up this morning I got excited to write about the last days and yesterday’s cycling through Barcelona…such a fast beautiful city, even in the rain.

But then….all emotions went south (opposite of where we are heading). A paralyzing tiredness took hold of me and I feel alienated -even from myself- because the anger/experiencing deep emotional exhaustion may be comparable with the anger this 18 year old felt when he went to the school in Texas to open fire on his young fellow humans? That is scary! Saying this…trying to make sense of it? Nobody can! 

I really, deeply don’t understand! And honestly, I am sick of thoughts and prayers! The exhaustion, fury and fear is beyond words. I want to run away and hide all the kids on a different planet. Leave the dumbass idiots to kill each other.   

Still today, but much later and I am now trying to get back to yesterday and the last days before, my b’day…. All I can think of is: For all the people at Uvalde those days can never come back. Those yesterday days are mute for them and over powered by what happened on the day their child died. Families destroyed of the teachers who died. Destroyed…those young lives that could have been.

Now….a few hours later, yet again…for some of us, life goes on. Possibly for the rest of the day and tomorrow too, I think…but one really doesn’t know, right?

So, let me try….last was: off to Barcelona. 

But we had a date with our good friend’s daughter and her family about 50km before (south) of B. That visit was planned already since we flew to Lisbon. During the month before arrival I blew a back tire on the way down from Baza. That is a tire I acquired in the beginning of 2019 and it had lasted me all across the US to Florida, from Buenos Aires, Argentina to São Paulo, Brazil, through South Arica and up to Malawi and Kenya. Back in the States across the desert (from Marin heading east) in an attempt to ride the Continental Divide and another year and a half commuting at home (Marin) and now all the way from Lisbon, Portugal to almost Valencia, Spain. That tire was tired! I felt the bumpity bump on that glorious ride down from the mountains. It had split somewhere in the middle on the side- fatigued, but we “fixed” it up with a “boot” (which is a piece of an old tire, used to support a larger compromised area from the inside of the tire in question) and “decorated” it with gorilla tape from the outside. I say decorated because it really didn’t make a supporting difference as we soon found out…peeling off pretty quickly while riding. Though the “boot” held a surprisingly long distance! I sent for its replacement (Schwalbe Marathon Plus -best there is for touring on heavy bicycles) to Vilanova where Areli and family would receive it hopefully before our arrival along with a stove part and my new debit card from the US. Also along the way from Baza I had lost my rain cape (I am still absolutely puzzled how that was possible). Lucky for me, it didn’t rain anymore until I held my newly send rain cape in my hands in Vilanova. 

And so begann a precious week of family life with Areli, her husband, her 4 year old son and 1 1/2 year old daughter. 

Ice cream, 

chai tea latte, bread and meals pickled with conversations and laughter while we solved the problems of the world……Marinating in the salty Mediterranean, 

breaded with sand in between dips. Life was flowing easily that week. Kids are the salt of the earth. What ever is right will again become apparent in the presents of kids. My b’day week was nurtured by their energy. THANK YOU wonder of life!

A day and following night of rain was in the forecast the day of our departure. The loving option to stay at home with this welcoming family for a while longer was super strong - and so was restlessness and the driving hunger to go on. Off we went…..carrying our new connections, activities and experiences as sweet memories well kept in our hearts. 

The ride was gorgeous along the cliffs straight down to the water, but the traffic on the way with a too narrow road, with too many trucks both ways was horrendous and I sure was glad when the 10km stretch was over and the flat land toward the big city gave room for a more relaxed ride. I enjoy big cities and I picked up the energy and excitement of an almost 2 million people population…fitting/matching the traffic flow of so many local bicyclist buzzing around us mostly ignoring traffic signs. My energy was matched much better than our visual appearance.

When the rain started I was happy to try out my new cape - we weren’t too far now from our chosen Hostal destination. We rang the bell and found there is an age discrimination: we are too old for this Youthhostel. The messenger was visually embarrassed, but it wasn’t his rule to change and he sent us to another Hostal -which was full…another and another. Barcelona is full!

In a cafe, dripping wet but wifi worked, James discovered a message on his phone from a WarmShower host he had tried to contact a few days prior. He was 15km north from Barcelona but encouraged us to stay with him ….we connected via WhatsApp and were soon on our way. The true WS spirit. Shelter in the rain, connecting with fellow touring cyclists. (He had taken in another tourer that day) Home again…a different home, but none-the-less super comfy! Thank you Diego! The invitation to stay another day to wait out the rain spell was gladly accepted!